Change has come to Washington and Barack isn’t even sworn in yet. Tim Geithner, who Mr. Obama wants to run the Treasury, has a new plan for tax rebates and bailing out the common man; don’t pay your taxes!  It’s absolutely brilliant in its simplicity. Instead of waiting for a balky congress to release fund, craft oversight regulations or for government bureaucrats to cut and mail checks simply keep a bunch of what you owe the government. 

Mr. Geithner is truly an economic genius! He has crafted some new business deductions like your kid’s summer camp expenses and the new International Monetary Fund Employee Exemption. Here again he has shown initiative by bypassing that pesky tax code and setting an example for the average citizen that when he’s the big cheese over the IRS we can all just obey whichever pasts of the tax law we deem important.

That is a big change. I have had a few run ins with those sensitive souls at the IRS for a lot less money than Timbo. The difference between the IRS and the Mafia is that once you’re dead the Mafia will stop trying to collect from you. They didn’t let me have six or seven years to settle up. They were sending me letter making me feel like if I didn’t pay up quick I could end up in Gitmo or a Daily Kos meeting.

So, rest easy this April 15^th,  Don’t quake in fear or even worry about sending in your payment, you have a friend in the Treasury Department!  

I had to miss the big non-debate the other night because my son broke his arm at football practice. Some kids will do anything for their parents! I think there are many things that we Right Wing Conspirators and you Enlightened Progressives disagree on but can we get some bipartisan support for saying that this alleged debate was the most boring ninety minutes of television since TBS ran a “She’s The Sherriff” marathon. I said in my previous blog that McCain needed to give Obama a verbal “beat down” which his campaign may have taken for “bed down”. Maybe their strategy is to put the left to sleep for the next four weeks and when they wake up McCain will be President.

I said that McCain had to step up in the economic crisis. What he stepped up with was more socialism. Right now I don’t think he could win his Senate seat. Where is Duncan Hunter now that we need him?

Since the Republican Party seems to have no interest in winning the White House the last hope for conservatives may be the Clintons. I don’t think that Hillary has gone back to New York and told herself that being a U.S. Senator is pretty good and she can do a lot of good work in the Senate.  I think that this is a woman who feels like she was owed the nomination and that Obama and Move On have done her wrong. She wants to be President and if Obama wins she is McCain’s age before she gets another chance. I don’t think Bill Clinton is too happy going from “first black president” to racist good old boy. Even if it’s not true (let’s not forget one of Bill’s early mentors was segregationist and anti-Semite, J. William Fulbright) it makes him look bad and there is nothing an ego the size of Vermont hates more than looking bad. The Clinton’s are seething in their separate bedrooms and know how to get even. They are like Michael Corleone, quietly going about their business while their minions have been sent out and all scores will be settled before Election Day.  

I had to run this idea by someone to make sure I was on the right track so I called my ultra liberal older brother. He’s the kind of guy that is the heart and soul of the Obama Nation. Upper middle class white guy who for some reason feels like he is part of the oppressed masses. I called and ran my idea by him and he started into a laundry list of reason why it wouldn’t happen. I knew I was on to something. Then he reminded me that several weeks ago I had written that the “lipstick” comment would be the seminal moment of the campaign and it was all but forgotten. I hate when that happens.

Before I get going on the non-debate last night I think all Americans can agree that after seeing Gwen Ifell’s jacket that somewhere there is a Laz-E-Boy missing a cover. If I was really looking for a Right Wing Conspiracy it was a blue jacket, a subtle nod to her left leaning politics? Who’s to say?

Maybe I don’t what a debate is. I just watched the Denzel Washington movie too. This was a let me answer your question with a rehearsed talking point fest. Afterwards, I hope to no one’s surprise, both sides claimed victory. I found the whole thing better than Tylenol PM for getting me to sleep. Palin had her wink and over used references to “maverick”.  A note to the McCain campaign, a real maverick wouldn’t have suspended his campaign to run back to Washington to support the conventional wisdom and the President. Had McCain been a maverick like the real conservatives in the House and opposed this bailout crap he would be five points ahead in every swing state instead of five points behind. A liberal friend told me there is a new drinking game like the old “Newhart” game where every time during a debate when McCain or Palin says maverick you have to do a shot. If this is true there are a lot of enlightened progressives with headaches this morning.

Joey Boy had his Hillary moment near the end where he got all choked up, it reminded me of when the Sean Young replicant in Blade Runner was trying to prove she was really human.

I guess I watch a debate for the same reason I watch a boxing match, I want to see a knockout punch. McCain didn’t have it in his first round with Obama and as much as I like Palin there was not even a good jab in this snooze inducing gab-a-thon.

It pains me to say this but maybe Obama may be right, the Republicans, at least the ones running this campaign don’t get it. Americans don’t want someone who is perfect and they don’t want to see someone who claims to be a leader and a reformer playing defense. The Katie Couric crap is unimportant if we know you are a fighter who is willing to take a punch for us. So, John and Sarah get off of the ropes and start punching.

Yesterday Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius suggested that ugly racism is afoot in the Presidential race! She talked about, “All the code language, all that doesn’t show up in the polls” and I am not exactly sure what she meant by that but I decided to look into recent elections and see if there was any evidence of racism. I have done some investigating what I have found is shocking! Shocking! I have discovered there is an organized effort to keep highly qualified African-American candidates out of office and I think as good citizens, regardless of political party, it is our duty to speak out.

This effort is back by millions of dollars donated by unsuspecting people. These dollars are then used to stop these minority candidates from reaching positions of power. I have found three recent examples where the organization in question, which is run largely by rich white Christian men, has run ads and done all in its power to keep African-Americans from office. In all three cases this racist group has backed and elected rich white, middle aged heterosexual men, two of whom were practicing Christians in place of these highly qualified Black men. Two of the candidates which were backed by this organization were also the sons of elected officials who had previously held high elected offices in their state after being backed by this odious organization. Don’t we all hate that good-old-boy crap?

The three men who were denied office by this group were Ken Blackwell of Ohio, Michael Steel of Maryland and Lynn Swann of Pennsylvania. The name of the racist organization is The Democrat Party! The sad part of this whole story is that these “Democrats” pretend to be open-minded about women and other minorities seeking office. They are so cynical that they will sometimes nominate a minority candidate for an election that they know they will lose so they can hide their nefarious purpose. Please help me stop these morons from doing any more harm to our country and vote against them and their operatives this November.

I have been out of touch with the world for three days and it was actually pretty nice. Let me give you the back story, on Sunday the remnants of Hurricane Ike dropped down on us here in Flyoverland. We had six hours of winds that got as strong as eighty miles per hour. That’s a category one hurricane in the Midwest. The last one was in 1908. We get hurricanes as often as the Cubs win a world series so it wasn’t something we were expecting. I had a tree that was thirty inches in diameter fall across my driveway and another in back of my house. In our three state area there were over three million people without power. There are still several hundred thousand in the dark. So I got three days without the constant bombardment of political ads and internet. My neighbors and I cleared fallen trees for two days with chain saws and no help from FEMA.  We aren’t looking for the Feds or the State to come in and make us whole. There was no looting and the crime rate actually went way down for the past few days.  I saw a lot of people just driving around and when they saw someone who needed help pulled up and helped out. Cutting trees, clearing debris, fixing roofs and making sure older folks were ok.  We are the same morons who think things aren’t as bad as Big Media wants us to think they are and like Sarah Palin. 

Today the juice came back on and I had a lot of catching up to do. I had hundreds of e mails and messages on Facebook and My Space. I hadn’t written a word for four days and since I hadn’t been watching or reading the news didn’t know what to write about or exactly what had been going on. I went in search of a blog topic. Barack had hosted a $28,500 a plate dinner in LA to show how out of touch John McCain is with the common man, too easy. Our embassy in Yemen was attacked, to tragic. Then I saw it! It brought tears of joy to my eyes. One of Hillary Clinton’s best friends and big fundraisers had come out and endorsed McCain.

As the founder and chief conspirator of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy I was sad to see Hillary lose the nomination. Smacking the Clintons around was our raison d’être.  I was going to miss all the conniving and underhanded dealing, all of the graft and dalliances of Billy Boy.  I was wondering how the Clintons were going to handle trying to seem like they were supporting Obama and yet wishing he was going to lose so Hillary could run in 2012. I thought the VRWC was going to go the way of communism relegated to the ash heap of history. Then the heavy handed machinations of the Clintons appeared! One of their best friends and major fundraisers came out and endorsed McCain. Ms. Lynn Forester De Rothchild was on Fox News pumping up the Republican ticket. She didn’t really sound too enthusiastic to me. She didn’t really seem too sure what McCain’s policies were. I was waiting for her to say, “Sarah who?”  Then it hit me, she was sent out to endorse McCain by the Clintons. I believe that we will see more and more Cintonistas come out as the election gets closer. All the while Hillary will give her tepid stump speech for Obama and claim that she is 100 percent behind Barack. Change? Not the Clintons, they care about one thing, the Clintons.