I had to miss the big non-debate the other night because my son broke his arm at football practice. Some kids will do anything for their parents! I think there are many things that we Right Wing Conspirators and you Enlightened Progressives disagree on but can we get some bipartisan support for saying that this alleged debate was the most boring ninety minutes of television since TBS ran a “She’s The Sherriff” marathon. I said in my previous blog that McCain needed to give Obama a verbal “beat down” which his campaign may have taken for “bed down”. Maybe their strategy is to put the left to sleep for the next four weeks and when they wake up McCain will be President.

I said that McCain had to step up in the economic crisis. What he stepped up with was more socialism. Right now I don’t think he could win his Senate seat. Where is Duncan Hunter now that we need him?

Since the Republican Party seems to have no interest in winning the White House the last hope for conservatives may be the Clintons. I don’t think that Hillary has gone back to New York and told herself that being a U.S. Senator is pretty good and she can do a lot of good work in the Senate.  I think that this is a woman who feels like she was owed the nomination and that Obama and Move On have done her wrong. She wants to be President and if Obama wins she is McCain’s age before she gets another chance. I don’t think Bill Clinton is too happy going from “first black president” to racist good old boy. Even if it’s not true (let’s not forget one of Bill’s early mentors was segregationist and anti-Semite, J. William Fulbright) it makes him look bad and there is nothing an ego the size of Vermont hates more than looking bad. The Clinton’s are seething in their separate bedrooms and know how to get even. They are like Michael Corleone, quietly going about their business while their minions have been sent out and all scores will be settled before Election Day.  

I had to run this idea by someone to make sure I was on the right track so I called my ultra liberal older brother. He’s the kind of guy that is the heart and soul of the Obama Nation. Upper middle class white guy who for some reason feels like he is part of the oppressed masses. I called and ran my idea by him and he started into a laundry list of reason why it wouldn’t happen. I knew I was on to something. Then he reminded me that several weeks ago I had written that the “lipstick” comment would be the seminal moment of the campaign and it was all but forgotten. I hate when that happens.

Before I get going on the non-debate last night I think all Americans can agree that after seeing Gwen Ifell’s jacket that somewhere there is a Laz-E-Boy missing a cover. If I was really looking for a Right Wing Conspiracy it was a blue jacket, a subtle nod to her left leaning politics? Who’s to say?

Maybe I don’t what a debate is. I just watched the Denzel Washington movie too. This was a let me answer your question with a rehearsed talking point fest. Afterwards, I hope to no one’s surprise, both sides claimed victory. I found the whole thing better than Tylenol PM for getting me to sleep. Palin had her wink and over used references to “maverick”.  A note to the McCain campaign, a real maverick wouldn’t have suspended his campaign to run back to Washington to support the conventional wisdom and the President. Had McCain been a maverick like the real conservatives in the House and opposed this bailout crap he would be five points ahead in every swing state instead of five points behind. A liberal friend told me there is a new drinking game like the old “Newhart” game where every time during a debate when McCain or Palin says maverick you have to do a shot. If this is true there are a lot of enlightened progressives with headaches this morning.

Joey Boy had his Hillary moment near the end where he got all choked up, it reminded me of when the Sean Young replicant in Blade Runner was trying to prove she was really human.

I guess I watch a debate for the same reason I watch a boxing match, I want to see a knockout punch. McCain didn’t have it in his first round with Obama and as much as I like Palin there was not even a good jab in this snooze inducing gab-a-thon.

It pains me to say this but maybe Obama may be right, the Republicans, at least the ones running this campaign don’t get it. Americans don’t want someone who is perfect and they don’t want to see someone who claims to be a leader and a reformer playing defense. The Katie Couric crap is unimportant if we know you are a fighter who is willing to take a punch for us. So, John and Sarah get off of the ropes and start punching.